Trust.  Now there's a concept, huh?  Like the saying goes, "The scalded child dreads the fire", and yet we keep going back to that same fire.  More often than not, we get burned again.  And I guess if we go back and get scorched enough times, it impairs our ability to trust altogether.  In some cases, we may even reach the point where we feel as if there is no one we can trust, not even ourselves.  However, how can one live a life or have a love without trust?  What, exactly, is a healthy level of skepticism?  At what point do one's own insecurities impede one's ability to have a normal life?  I think trust in oneself, one's own judgment, is a choice.  Make enough wrong choices, and you may even learn something, hopefully.  Trust in others is a choice, but it also has to be earned.  Yes, there are those who trust blindly and walk away unscathed, but they are few and far between.  As for the rest of us...well, I think we keep trusting because of hope.  We keep hoping we'll walk up to that fire and become warm and safe, and not burned and scarred.  Because, after all, what is life without hope?

Good morning world....am stumbling around with my coffee, tyring to wake up...thank god I don't have an early morning job....and thank god I'm the boss, or I'd fire me.....I'm sleepy yet full of thoughts all at the same time...I feel like a car that's stuck between neutral and 5th gear...maybe I need a new transmission!  That's it!  Solve all my problems.  Then I could jump in and drive away to someplace like the beach....yeah, buddy!  Ah well, at least my daydreams aren't too extravagant.....

Well, the guy that told me to date other people came back a week later.  And I'm dating him again.  Stupid?  Probably.  He isn't a bad guy; non-commital perhaps, but that's okay.  I don't really think I may ever be marriage material anyway. BUT, the next time a man says women are nuts and blame mood swings on PMS, I'm going to pipe up with proof that men are just as bad.  One week, they're cutting you loose, and the next they're stuck to you like Velcro.  Someone please put my name on the memo list so I can friggin' keep up here.....

Well, my first foray into online dating didn't turn out too badly.  Although I did somehow manage to run the guy off within six weeks...usually takes me at least three months, so I'm going to consider that time a personal best.  I'm a little bewildered at why, but, nothing ventured, nothing gained, correct?  Now to decide whether or not to try it again...still thinking about that one.  At the moment, I'm thinking.....nah.  But, we'll see.  Depends on how long it is before I get stir crazy up here.